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Owning Your Confidence with a Dash of B-D-E: Leveraging the Magic of Confident Humility

Confidence – it's a trait that many of us want to exude but find it so damn elusive. The struggle to foster genuine confidence can shape our interactions, choices, and ultimately our lives. Keep reading because we're diving deep into the topic of confidence and how it intertwines with humility to create a powerful force for personal growth and empowerment.


The Struggle with Confidence is Very Real


As a certified Life Coach, guide, and mentor, I've been privileged to witness the ongoing battle with confidence in my clients' lives. It's a familiar story – the inner turmoil, the hesitancy to speak up, the missed opportunities, and the overwhelming sense of defeat. Not to mention the resentment! But here's the deal – even I, somebody who guides others on their journeys, grapple with confidence too. Yes, ya girl be on the confidence struggle bus sometimes.


Recently, a new project at work left me feeling defeated and questioning my skills and abilities. It's a situation that many can relate to – that internal battle where self-doubt gnaws at your confidence, and you find yourself facing a crossroads (plus a lot of anxiety). This pattern of struggling to feel confident can hold us back if we allow it, but it's time to break free and stand up for you!


Confident Humility: The Unlikely Lesson from Skunks


Life has a funny way of delivering lessons, often when we least expect them. Returning from a family vacation, an unexpected encounter with a family of skunks in my backyard not only shook my nerves but also prompted me to seek the spiritual meaning behind these night creatures. What I found was a powerful lesson in "confident humility."


Skunks actually symbolize confident humility – embracing your greatness while acknowledging your human flaws. It's a reminder that you are worthy of self-respect and confidence, even when you're still a work in progress. This concept struck a chord, moving me to share it with y'all because I know the struggle that black and brown women have with trying to be the perfect picture of strength and fortitude but trembling on the inside with fear, second-guessing, and anxiety.


Recognizing the Signs of Lack of Confidence


Lack of confidence manifests in various ways, often hidden beneath the surface. It's not just about posture or appearance – it's the stories we tell ourselves, the self-doubt that whispers in our minds. Second-guessing, seeking external validation, perfectionism, and silencing our voices are all signs of a lack of confidence.


But let's challenge these perceptions. Confidence isn't just about projecting an image of unwavering certainty; it's about embracing our humanness, flaws and all, while moving forward with intention. You can be scared and unsure, but sis, you gotta keep moving forward and not get stuck where you are!


Changing the Narrative: A Shift Toward Empowerment


The journey to confident humility starts with rewriting our stories. We've been conditioned by societal narratives and even family dysfunction that tell us we're not enough – not pretty enough, not smart enough, not perfect enough. It's time to challenge and reshape these stories. You are perfectly imperfect, and that's exactly how you're meant to be. As an adult human being with a strong heart and mind, you get to rewrite the script! It wasn’t your fault that you were conditioned to believe that you’re less than in some way, but it is your responsibility to stop that negative talk and flip the script.


Embrace the duality within you – light and darkness, strength and vulnerability. Accept that mistakes are part of growth, and your value is not diminished by them. Changing the narrative is a practice, and it might feel uncomfortable at first. But remember, your perception of yourself shapes your reality (and it’s really the only one that matters).


Banishing the Fear of Judgment


One of the most significant barriers to confidence is the fear of judgment. We often anchor our decisions to the opinions of others, sacrificing our desires and dreams. It's time to break free from this cycle. Nobody else should define who you are or what you can achieve.

Release the need to seek constant approval. Confident humility means trusting your intuition and standing tall, even when other people disagree or don’t understand. Develop the mindset of a "mediocre white man" – the unapologetic confidence that you have something valuable to offer, even if you don't have all the answers.


Embracing Confident Humility: A Path to Empowerment


Confident humility isn't about being arrogant, seeking superiority, or looking down on somebody else. It's a delicate balance of embracing your worthiness while acknowledging your imperfections. When you cultivate confident humility, you radiate a self-assured energy that attracts positive change and growth into your life.


So, how can you embrace this powerful state of being?

  1. Change Your Story: Rewrite the narratives that hold you back. Embrace your imperfections and declare your worthiness.

  2. Stand in Your Power: Let go of the fear of judgment. Trust your intuition and assert your value, regardless of others' opinions.

  3. Embrace Discomfort: Negative emotions can be catalysts for change. Lean into discomfort, and use frustration and anger as motivation to move forward.

  4. Practice Patience: Growth takes time. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the journey to confident humility.


Confident humility is a state of being that empowers you to embrace your greatness while remaining grounded in your humanness. It's a transformative journey from self-doubt to self-assuredness, from silence to using your voice, and from hesitation to seizing opportunities.


You’re more than worthy of respect, acceptance, and confidence. Embrace your confident humility and watch as your life transforms into a beautiful tapestry of growth, self-love, and empowerment. Remember, you have the power to shape your narrative – so let it be one of strength, authenticity, and unwavering confidence.


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